LAST TRANSMISSION

Last transmission is going to record this Saturday at blackisle studios. gonna do our single, neon nothingness , looking forward to it. trying my best to find somewhere to record the rest of our songs so we can produce an album before sidney leaves in mid june to study in Sydney. yeah he's going . im happy for him, NS was killing him and more importantly he's going to be with tara.

i guess the band is going to be in stasis for awhile til he comes back at the end of the year. a great shame, we were building up momentum and the 4 of us were really starting to gel together. but its not over. anyway recording has always been more of a priority to me then live performances. that silly little inexplicable need to leave your mark. why though? i think subconsiously its us coming to terms with our own mortality and limited sense of time. sometimes there is only now, im always planning for the future, practicing for future gigs , recording. i know listening back on a record is like looking at a photo of a good day. nothing beats playing there and then with the other three, il never trade those times for anything. the fun , the friendship and the music.

Sid is an indispensible part of the band, he's the joker, the bounce in the step, the unending corn field, the swagger and of course the killer bass lines.

its going to suck losing him as a bassist for awhile, but screw that. more than being my damn bassist , sid was a mate, he's not dead so i mean he is a mate, a real good one at that. when hes gone im gonna miss his humour, his " dionysian debauchery" , his company. gonna miss him

your glassy eyes betray you

death and television

Havnt updated my blog in a long time.
kris is back for a week. its been great. when your other is 6997km away you try and build up your life here, do your own thing and be independent. its not that i love her any less, i just need that. she feels that i dont need her anymore, that im so absorbed in my own life, thats shes just a small part of it and when shes away i put that part in refrigeration.

its not true of course, but you ineveitably become self-absorbed in yourself as an individual when your alone. when shes back all of that disappears in an instant. i have been having great evenings with her. The sidewalks have stories to tell again. Worn buildings release old feelings through their cracks, the evening skies let you let drown if you only have the time to look up. things are just like how they used to be when before i got into the army. shes leaving on sunday. my hearts gonna crack a little bit more when i see walk through the glass of the airport departure lounge.

departure is such a cold word. the cold feel of finality of it as the syllables scrape of your tongue that was only moments before bathed in the warmth of her mouth. Depature sounds like the name of a morose norse god. every second lasts a thousand years.
distance kills.

what secrets do you keep in your ears?

your glassy eyes betray you

Flaming zeppelins

Musically frustrated. theres not enough time. loosing faith in my own writing, think no one really likes it anymore, and maybe neither do i. wish the others would write so i wouldnt always feel like i have to represent everyone else.

your glassy eyes betray you

your glassy eyes betray youTrickster


Came to camp earlier, only to remember that i had lost my locker keys. danny who shares a locker with me is late, i had to borrow someone elses uniform. As a result i have to try and stay incognito today cos my name tag says Y R LIEW instead of SOLOMON. My camo pants, or rather his camo pants are really baggy on me and make me look like a member of Public Enemy, during their militant fashion phase.

Im becoming increasingly absent minded of late, i think its the lack of sleep. currently im getting 3 to four hours every weekday and on weekends far less. my reaction time has started to slow considerably, i rarely ever dream anymore cos i think i never hit the REM stage. numbingly surreal

weekend

i dont why these things ever end i sometimes wish it was that summer again.


Last weekend was an extended day which started on friday morning and ended on sunday night.
clubs are strange places. the strobe and lights whose only purpose are to punctuate the concealing darkness.
the numbing alcohol, the seething mass of swaying plastic beauty. strangers faces which bleed into each other and become one. you leave your emotional baggage in the lockers and pick it up your inebriated way out , finding it slightly heavier.

theres just something about day to day living that is so deftly skilled at crushing sensitivity. i could feel happy or sad, but after watching televisioni feel numb and blank.

i could never suffer the company of the shallow , but everyone seems to become hollowed out eventually.


i miss her so

neon nothingness

Mulitiple power outages, a one painful experience with hot wax later, i think my bad luck streak has ended.
its a pretty gloomy day today and im in camp. Kristine left 2 days ago, and i feel kinda empty.
heres the lyrics to the most recent song last transmission wrote:


i have 30 days to decide
what im doing with my life
but i cant be sure
under artifical light

we dont cube by choice
chose a cube instead of a voice
to sing
the songs i never had a chance to begin

we dont need all these things
empty plastic ,faithless rings
draw us in
where the neon nothingness begins

you are innocent to me
you are innocent to me
i thought i heard faith speaking
im not broken , im just breaking

lately i dont care if its real
just show me how i should feel
fool me you want to
fool me cos i want you to
fool me cos i wanna be fooled by you