black market music

Played at club momo yesterday, it was great. the sound was excellent. true to form i broke a string during the second song and had to improvise a solo without it. borrowed a guitar from slowjaxx and the rest of the set went well. binge drinking soon followed and my last few waking moments of the day involved watching, hearing, and smelling tjinn throw up in a cab.

The day after always feels really empty and faded somehow. trying to shake off this monumental sense of gloom thats making me feel five times heavier than i really am. Gonna head out to meet josh in a bit, havnt seen him for ages. we used to be so close, somewhere between being 15 and now our lives went completely off tangent. i think i changed and he remained true to himself. nowadays theres this gulf i cant really cross anymore, in a way we've become a warped reflection of each other, seeing as how we started out pretty much the same. i suppose we're each others' could-have-beens.

im fighting the urge to buy a pack of fags that will surely send me closer to economic disaster for this month. i hate army wages.

i cant wait for our shows to be over for this month, so i can just take out an acoustic and write new songs. Sure playing live is great,but u can only whip out the same old ghosts for so long. Nothing beats writing a song in its early stages. Its unpolished, rough,most of the layers and accompaniments are imagined, and in all probably it sounds like crap to everyone else. But it feels so real and true.