ziggy stardust and the spiders from mars

Today i went to jam with zarina and sidney, was nice to see them again. last transmission needs more people ever since guru left, we've begun sounding hollow with only one guitar and need another guitarist or keyboardist to add the depth. it doesnt help that kenneth is rarely free and we've only had one jam together with the four of us since we re-formed. today a potential keyboardist came to watch us and see if she wanted to jam with us. we playd a little , and my string broke as usual, putting an aprupt end to that.

she started talking about her previous band and how she was into avant garde and i was slightly wary seeing as how that term has been high-jacked by mediocrity and senselessness. she let us listen to some of her samples and it was interesting formless soundscapes. she was really cute when she tried to explain her music and started making high pitched morse code noises with her mouth to describe her bands inter-linked musical layering. she said the music was formed in squares? musicians have very weird private imagery when it comes to music. i always form it around pictures. i used to skulk around bridges and railways tracks at night and turn cars and trains into light streaks with my camera cos that was how my music was in my mind at the time and i wanted to see some of it as a visual.

shes gonna jam with us next week , hopefully itl go well. she seems interesting and i really like godspeed you black emperor and sigur ros as well. hopefully il get kenneth to come and drum.

ive been in and out of bands since i was 15. music is so beautiful sometimes it feels almost like a religious emperience. i love it when i become nothing more than the sound coming out of my guitar. music is supposed to be a reflection of life but theres so much of your life you can shut out while your playing music it becomes a paradox. the beauty is everything because it represents nothing other than itself. since we've gotten a place of our own i havnt been to jam studios in almost a year and half but sometimes i miss it . some jam studios especially the older ones have so many collective memories and feelings seeping out of the padded walls and creeping out of silent amplififiers. the ghosts of bands long gone , dreams born and broken, young idealism long since replaced by pragmatism , rock and roll fantasies played out, friendships forged and lasting long after the music ended. the pathos of it all.

we've left our mark.